So, it’s been a long time since I posted. My son is now 3 months old and I think I can say I’m coming to terms with this whole new mum life! And I am loving every second of it.
Becoming a mum has literally been the making of me. I thought I knew who I was and was happy in life, but boy was I wrong. Since having my son in July 2018, my happiness has gone above and beyond and I’m happy with myself and my life.
Bit of a rewind back to my labour and how it began.
It’s absolutely nerve racking. It’s terrifying. People will tell you things and you try and invision what it’s actually going to be like, except you can’t.
You can never be prepared for labour, no matter how many apps you have, how many books you read, how many stories your told etc. It’s impossible.
I had a sweep which was my first one by a student midwife(I was 2cm dialated!) and my labour started 24 hours after finally. My son was also 10 days over due in the horrific heat wave of 2018!
My personal opinion; the worst part of the labour is the contractions. There is no way to physically or mentally prepare you for them.
For a start, no one tells you you might bleed a little before going into labour and no one tells you that your ‘mucus plug’ is or can take days or weeks to fully come out!
My start of labour was slow, it felt like it lasted a entire life time. I got mentally worried I wouldn’t have the physical strength to continue to push through my contractions.
It was around 13:00 on the 11th of July when I had a few twinges, didn’t think nothing of it. That morning I walked my dog and took my time in doing so and just generally enjoyed my walk with her. I also sat on the Xbox attempting to play and old tomb raider game but I got scared and turned it off. So instead I sat on my pregnancy ball and bounced whilst trying to attempt to order an online shop. To hell was I going to attempt going to do some shopping on yet another hot day!
I went toilet as normal and saw some light blood, didn’t think nothing of it but I was more aware that something may be happening. I was also having what I would say was braxton hicks every couple of minutes. Let me say, these were enjoyable(in comparison to what comes later)!
Not long after that my mucus plug what I thought was most of it came out. What a sight!
I asked some of my work colleagues who are good friends of mine and they told me I needed to ring the hospital to see if I needed to come up. I couldn’t ring my partner as he was working but I gave him a text anyway 🤷♀️😆
I was told to go up the hospital and see if things had progressed! I was in shock not knowing if id be coming back with my son or not. Either way I didn’t feel prepared at all. I felt my hospital bag was a mess and well over packed (which it was massively) and I had hardly eaten or drank much that day either. My appetite had rapidly decreased over a couple of days.
My partner came back and we rushed up the hospital, I got checked over they said I was about 3cm dialated so not much further along. Not what you want to hear at all. Got moved into the delivery suite room, this was when the England game was on in the World Cup as well. Before they got booted out as usual! We got told to go home or go for long walks around the hospital and see if it progressed labour further. Bearing in mind I was in agony and wanted to go on top of the hospital building and jump off!
We decided to go home as the staff were adamant that it would be “more relaxing” for me and my partner. They told me to have a bath and to “get some rest”.
I hadn’t eaten in ages, so me and partner grab a McDonald’s. Before we’re home or pull up in the drive I scoffed a cheeseburger within minutes and as soon as we pulled up on our drive.. I managed to vomit on our lawn in broad day light. With cars passing by and for the whole world to see. Just what I wanted when we haven’t lived in our new house for long 😁
I managed to have a bath and ate my chocolate muffin in the bath I actually shaved my legs and everything in the bath as it seemed to help a bit. I wanted to ensure I was clean for labour! 🤦♀️🤷♀️
I then attempted to “nap”, i tried to get comfy on the sofa, it didn’t happen. It was basically impossible to sit still. Put the TENS machine on to help “ease” the pain, I don’t think it eased my pain of the contractions in anyway. I think it took my mind off the pain everytime I put it on at each contraction.
Anyway, I tried to sleep in bed. I’m curious as to if anyone has managed to sleep naturally whilst having full blown contractions. Yikes! I couldn’t sleep, it was getting towards 21:00 and I was exhausted from pain and not drinking enough. I bounced and bounced on my pregnancy ball for hours. Punching the wall, scratching my legs, biting my hands, pulling my hair and swearing like a trooper. 23:00hours came and I felt I wasn’t going to have the strength to get to the hospital let alone have my son.
I planned how I’d invisioned my birth, and I wrote down how I’d like it.
I wrote that I didn’t want pain relief unless I asked for it. I didn’t want it offered to me.
I wanted a water birth as well, I wanted to aim for a hypnobirth. I wanted to be relaxed.
It was the complete opposite.
By 23:00 we were back up the hospital, at long last. I can’t remember how we got in the hospital, I remember being so desperate for a wee that I cried and grabbed my partner forcefully telling well... demanding that he took me to the toilet.
A student midwife finally found us and took us to a private room. I remember vaguely vomiting and bleeding on the bed literally both ends. And it covering the whole bed nearly, dignity slowly going.
I got examined below for what felt like the 10th time. I was contracting regularly, every minute or under for nearly a minute!
The midwife was assuming as I couldn’t wee(I was so dehydrated) that I needed a catheter.. a catheter ....turns out I didn’t need it and she removed it! (sorry TMI)
Midwife checked me again, I was around 5cm at this point. I was finally put onto a ward with only curtains between you and other people. I don’t even know what ward I was on, I was offered pethadin in my leg to help me relax and an anti sickness injection so I could get some rest. I was accepting and asking for anything to help me with contractions. My partner slept in the uncomfortable chair next to me whilst I attempted to sleep. I felt drosy as anything. I managed to nap on and off for a couple of hours. Every what felt like 10 minutes i woke up in pain because of a contraction and made sure that my poor partner was awake as I squeezed his hand every time!
This night felt like it went on forever..
A midwife came to check how dialated I was but I was adamant I was desperate for a wee. I couldn’t get up to go to the toilet. With 2 people assisting me I couldn’t stand. I felt so hopeless. I was telling my partner for about an hour before this that “I needed to push out my bum” he did go to get someone but obviously it’s busy and it took time. I got examined again and whilst prepping for the examination I got asked what I wanted for the birth. I said epidural, or water birth. My partner knew I wanted to try natural and questioned me as he was right to do so. He respected my wishes. But I physically and mentally couldn’t go on any longer. I wanted my baby out now.
I got examined and I was told I was 6-7cm, finally! I felt like no one believed me when my partner went to tell someone. I got told that it’s too late for me to have either epidural or the water birth so I had to go to our delivery suite.
I ended up funnily yet annoyingly enough in a room with a birthing pool. Typical.
I ended up pushing and what felt like another life time. Nobody telling me how far I am, although admittedly I didn’t want to know. I felt like I was pushing for no reason.
I had a candular put in my hand, I remember losing a lot of blood from it being put in wrongly. My hand was pouring with blood. Meanwhile I had my partner helping the midwife and student midwife. I was pushing continuously with finally some gas and air. A swarm of other people came in, I needed to push and get my son out soon as his heart rate was dropping. I began to feel useless not knowing what was happening.
I had to have an episiotomy(I’ll let google tell you what this is if you don’t know!) despite using the Motherlylove oils. I didn’t care at that point that I need to be cut. My son was suction cupped out with the support of my partner helping the consultant with the tools.
I wasn’t prepared for any of the above. Especially the cut. That moment at 07:32AM on the 12th of July 2018. My son was born. My life had just begun really.
There is absolutely no feeling in the world when you finally get to see your baby that you’ve carried for 9 whole months. Our bodies are amazing and so strong.
I’ve wanted to share my birthing story as i enjoy reading or hearing about other mums experiences. It’s literally amazing what we go through.
Any questions please feel free to email or comment below 😊👶🏻
